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Occupational Therapy

Managing Separation Anxiety When Your Child Starts Kindergarten: A Neuroaffirming and Connection-Driven Approach

Author: Sophie Robertson, Paediatric Occupational Therapist & Clinical Manager
5 min read

Starting kindergarten is an exciting yet often anxiety-provoking milestone for both children and parents. This transition can be particularly challenging for children who experience separation anxiety, especially those who may struggle with changes in routine and new environments.

Separation anxiety is a natural response, reflecting a child’s strong attachment to their caregiver. While it can be difficult to manage, the good news is that with the right support—rooted in understanding and empathy—children can navigate this change, building both independence and maintaining a secure connection with you. Here are some practical strategies to help ease separation anxiety as your child starts kindergarten.

Understanding Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety can look different for every child. For neurodiverse children, this anxiety can be amplified by sensory processing differences, transitions, or struggles with understanding social interactions. A neuroaffirming approach acknowledges that every child has a unique nervous system, and starting school can trigger a heightened state of alertness and uncertainty.

Children rely on predictable routines and strong connections to feel secure. When a big change—like starting kindergarten—disrupts that routine, it’s natural for their nervous system to signal discomfort. Understanding this from a neurodevelopmental perspective helps us approach the situation with empathy, rather than trying to “fix” the anxiety. Instead, we support their nervous system by providing consistent, connection-based strategies to help them feel safe.

Fostering Connection

Connection is a powerful tool in easing separation anxiety. When children feel securely connected to their caregivers, they are better equipped to explore the world around them with confidence. This connection doesn’t have to stop when your child steps into the kindergarten classroom—there are ways to maintain that sense of security even during separation.

  • Create a Goodbye Ritual: Establish a consistent and predictable goodbye routine. Whether it’s a special hug, handshake, or a brief mantra like “I love you, see you soon,” this small ritual helps your child know what to expect, providing them with a sense of comfort as they say goodbye.
  • Stay Calm and Regulated: Your child can sense your emotions. If you appear anxious or uncertain, they’re more likely to mirror those feelings. Before dropping your child off, take a moment to regulate your own emotions—practice deep breathing or repeat calming affirmations. Your calm energy will reassure your child that the separation is manageable and safe.
  • Transitional Objects: Giving your child something small and comforting to hold onto throughout the day can be a tangible reminder of your connection. This could be a small note, a family photo, or even a matching bracelet that you both wear. These objects help children feel connected to home and can soothe their nervous system.

Supporting Sensory and Emotional Regulation

Children with sensory processing differences may find the sensory-rich environment of a kindergarten classroom overwhelming. This sensory overload can contribute to heightened anxiety. To help your child feel more regulated, consider adding sensory strategies to your morning routine that support their nervous system:

  • Morning Movement: Physical activity can help your child regulate their nervous system before heading to school. Whether it’s a quick walk, some jumping jacks, or even dancing to their favourite song, movement can help reduce anxiety and set a positive tone for the day.
  • Calming Touch: If your child responds well to deep pressure or calming touch, you could offer a firm bear hug or let them spend a few minutes with a weighted blanket before leaving. This kind of sensory input can help regulate their nervous system and reduce feelings of anxiety.
  • Quiet Time: For children who become easily overstimulated, consider offering a few minutes of quiet time before the busy school day begins. Engaging in a calm, low-stimulation activity like reading or drawing can help centre your child and prepare them for the transition.

Building Independence Gradually

A neurodevelopmental approach respects that children grow and develop at their own pace. While kindergarten encourages independence, it’s important to support your child’s autonomy in a way that feels safe for them.

  • Practice Short Separations: To ease your child into the idea of being apart from you, gradually practice short separations at home. Start by leaving them with a trusted caregiver for brief periods or encourage them to play independently while you’re in another room. Celebrate their success, no matter how small, to build their confidence.
  • Use Visual Schedules: For children who need help understanding the structure of the day, visual schedules can provide reassurance. Create a simple schedule that shows what their day at school will look like and when you’ll be back to pick them up. Visuals offer predictability, helping to reduce anxiety about the unknown.

Validating Their Feelings and Empowering Their Strengths

It’s important to acknowledge that your child’s feelings are real and valid. Let them know that it’s okay to feel nervous or sad about starting school, while also empowering them to face the challenge with confidence.

  • Validate Their Emotions: Use phrases like, “It’s okay to feel worried about starting school. It’s a big change, and I’m here to help you through it.” This lets your child know that their emotions are normal, reducing any sense of shame or fear.
  • Highlight Their Strengths: Remind your child of other times they’ve been brave or tackled something new. For example, “Remember when you were nervous about your swimming lesson, and you did so well? I know you can do this too!” Helping them recall past successes can boost their confidence in handling new challenges.

Starting kindergarten is a big step for both you and your child, and managing separation anxiety is part of that journey. By approaching this transition with a neuroaffirming and connection-driven mindset, you can support your child’s emotional and sensory needs while fostering a sense of security and independence. With the right strategies, you can help them navigate this milestone with resilience, knowing that your connection remains their anchor even when you’re apart.

If you feel like your child is struggling with separation anxiety or you are concerned about your child starting school next year, talk to an occupational therapist for further guidance. Contact MoveAbout today. Check out our Facebook and Instagram pages for more education regarding sensory processing and regulation.

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Understanding the Vagus Nerve and Its Role in Your Child’s Regulation

Author: Tayla Gabin, Paediatric Occupational Therapist
4 min read

As parents, we often see our children experience a range of emotions, from joy to frustration, calm to chaos. Understanding what helps children regulate their emotions and behaviour is key to supporting their development. One vital component in this process is something many of us may never have heard of: the vagus nerve.

In this blog, we’ll explore the vagus nerve, its importance to emotional and physiological regulation, and how parents can help their children activate it to foster calm and focus.

What Is the Vagus Nerve?

The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body, connecting the brain to various organs, including the heart, lungs, and digestive system. The word “vagus” means “wanderer” in Latin, which is fitting, as this nerve “wanders” through many important areas of the body. It plays a crucial role in the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the “rest and digest” system.

The vagus nerve helps regulate heart rate, digestion, and the body’s relaxation response. When it functions well, it promotes a state of calm and helps us recover from stress more quickly. For children, having a well-regulated vagus nerve is essential for maintaining emotional balance, focus, and overall well-being.

The Vagus Nerve and Emotional Regulation

When a child faces stress, such as frustration over a difficult task or a disagreement with a sibling, their body enters a “fight, flight, or freeze” state, part of the sympathetic nervous system. This state is useful in emergencies but can make it hard for children to think clearly, focus, or remain calm during everyday challenges.

The vagus nerve acts like a brake on this stress response. When activated, it helps to slow the heart rate and calm the body down. This is where emotional regulation comes into play. A well-functioning vagus nerve enables a child to move out of stress mode and into a calmer, more regulated state, where they can manage their emotions and behaviours better.

How Can You Help Your Child Activate Their Vagus Nerve?

Thankfully, there are simple, everyday techniques that can support your child’s vagus nerve function and improve their ability to regulate their emotions. Here are a few practical strategies you can try at home:

1. Deep Breathing

Slow, deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to activate the vagus nerve. Encouraging your child to take slow breaths, filling their belly as they inhale and slowly exhaling, can quickly shift them into a calmer state. Practising this together when they are calm can make it easier for them to use when they are feeling overwhelmed.

2. Humming or Singing

The vagus nerve runs through the vocal cords, so activities like humming, singing, or even chanting can help stimulate it. This can be particularly useful for children who enjoy music or who may be feeling anxious and need a simple distraction to help them calm down.

3. Cold Water Splash

Splashing cold water on the face can also stimulate the vagus nerve. This is because the nerve is connected to the part of the body that senses temperature changes. While this method might not work for every child, those who enjoy sensory input might find it soothing during times of high stress.

4. Movement and Exercise

Gentle physical activity such as walking, jumping on a trampoline, or even dancing can help activate the vagus nerve. Regular physical movement helps children regulate their nervous system and process emotions in a healthy way.

5. Gentle Pressure or Massage

For some children, deep pressure through a firm hug or a gentle massage can help activate the vagus nerve. Weighted blankets or soft, soothing touch can also provide comfort and help your child return to a state of calm.

children running through water fountain

Why Is This Important for Parents to Know?

Understanding the vagus nerve gives parents an important tool to support their child’s emotional and physical regulation. It allows you to see that, when your child is upset or stressed, they might not be able to simply “snap out of it.” Their nervous system is playing a significant role in their reactions, and by helping them activate their vagus nerve, you are giving them the tools to manage stress and find balance.

The vagus nerve plays an essential role in your child’s ability to regulate their emotions and stay calm in stressful situations. By using simple techniques like deep breathing, singing, and physical activity, you can help your child activate their vagus nerve, bringing them back to a calmer, more focused state.

The more we understand how our children’s bodies and brains work, the better equipped we are to support them. With these strategies, you can help your child navigate their emotional world with greater ease and confidence.

If you feel like your child is struggling with emotional regulation, talk to an occupational therapist for further guidance. Contact MoveAbout today. Check out our Facebook and Instagram pages for more education regarding sensory processing and regulation.

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Supporting Your Child’s Unique Path to Toilet Training

Author: Jake Robinson, Paediatric Occupational Therapist
4 min read

Toilet training is a significant developmental milestone, and respecting your child’s unique readiness, sensory preferences, and developmental journey is key. By embracing their individual pace and providing a supportive environment, you can help make this transition smoother. In this guide, we’ll explore selecting the right equipment, understanding body positioning, using visual aids, and establishing routines that align with your child’s developmental needs.

1. Choose Equipment That Supports Your Child’s Independence

Creating a child-friendly toileting environment encourages autonomy and reduces anxiety. Here are some practical tips:

  • Smaller toilet seats: When transitioning to an adult toilet, using a smaller seat insert can offer your child stability and comfort, ensuring they feel secure.
  • Step stools: A step stool helps your child climb up independently and provides foot support while seated, contributing to a sense of control and comfort.

2. Respect the Role of Body Positioning

Body positioning plays a critical role in ensuring comfort during toilet training. Maintaining the correct posture helps ease the process:

  • 90-degree angles: Aim for your child’s knees and ankles to form 90-degree angles when seated. This promotes relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles, which can make passing urine or stool easier.
  • Foot support: Using a step stool to support your child’s feet enhances their stability and confidence, reducing the fear of unsteady or dangling feet.

3. Use Visual Aids to Empower Your Child

Children thrive with clear and structured guidance. Visual aids can break down the toileting process in a simple, accessible way:

  • Visual schedules: Create a visual step-by-step guide that includes tasks such as pulling down pants, sitting on the toilet, wiping, flushing, and washing hands. These guides reduce uncertainty and offer reassurance, empowering children to follow a predictable routine.

4. Develop a Consistent Routine

A consistent routine helps your child feel secure and reinforces their ability to recognise their body’s cues. Integrating toileting into daily activities promotes predictability:

  • Morning routine: Encourage your child to use the toilet first thing in the morning.
  • After meals: Children often need the toilet after eating, so offer gentle reminders during this time.
  • Before bed: Establish a bedtime toileting routine to reduce nighttime accidents and provide comfort before sleep.

5. Recognise Your Child’s Cues

Toilet training is more successful when you pay attention to your child’s cues. Common signs of readiness include:

  • Seeking privacy: Some children retreat to a quiet space when they feel the need to use the toilet.
  • Facial expressions: Concentration or discomfort on their face can indicate a need to go.
  • Fidgeting: Shifting from foot to foot may be a sign that your child needs the toilet.
  • Grabbing at pants: Some children pull at their diaper or pants when they feel the urge.

By recognising these cues, you can support your child’s journey with patience and understanding.

6. Occupational Therapy and Toilet Training

For children who need extra support, Occupational Therapists (OTs) can be valuable partners in toilet training. OTs take a holistic approach to help children develop the skills needed for toileting success:

  • Creating tailored plans: Based on your child’s individual needs, OTs develop personalised, step-by-step plans that align with their developmental stage.
  • Assessing readiness: OTs evaluate your child’s motor skills, sensory preferences, and cognitive development to determine readiness.
  • Supporting motor skills: If your child struggles with tasks like pulling down pants or sitting independently, OTs can provide targeted strategies to build these skills.
  • Managing sensory differences: For children with sensory sensitivities, tasks like using toilet paper or hearing the flush can be overwhelming. OTs help children manage these differences and create a more comfortable experience.

Toilet training is a developmental process that benefits from patience, consistency, and a child-centred approach. By selecting the right equipment, focusing on body positioning, using visual aids, and establishing a routine that fits your child’s unique needs, you can help them navigate this transition with confidence. For children facing challenges, Occupational Therapy offers personalised support to ensure a positive and respectful toilet training experience.

With time, understanding, and the right tools, your child will gain independence in toileting when they are ready, at their own pace.

If you feel like your child is struggling with toilet training, talk to an occupational therapist for further guidance. Contact MoveAbout today. Check out our Facebook and Instagram pages for more education regarding toilet training, sensory processing, and regulation.

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