Author: Daniella Galla, Paediatric Occupational Therapist
5 min read
Introduction
If your child comes home from school exhausted, emotional, or overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Many children experience after-school restraint collapse—a release of pent-up emotions after a long day of holding it together.
For children in their first year of school, autistic children, and those with sensory processing differences or learning challenges, this can be even more pronounced. Understanding why it happens and how to support your child can make all the difference.
Why Do Children Have Meltdowns After School?
Emotional Exhaustion
School requires children to focus, follow instructions, manage social interactions, and regulate emotions. By the time they get home, they may feel drained, making them more prone to meltdowns.
Sensory Overload
Schools are full of bright lights, constant noise, and busy hallways. For children sensitive to sensory input, this can be overwhelming. Even though home offers relief, the sudden shift to a quieter environment can still feel jarring.
Masking and Bottled-Up Emotions
Many children suppress their true emotions at school, trying to fit in and meet expectations. Once they’re home—where they feel safe—those emotions may spill out in big ways.
Transition Challenges
Moving from structured school routines to a more relaxed home environment can be difficult. The lack of clear expectations at home may leave children feeling unsettled, leading to frustration and outbursts.
Hunger and Fatigue
Many children don’t eat much at school or are too busy to notice their hunger. Low blood sugar, combined with exhaustion, can make after-school meltdowns more likely.
How to Support Your Child After School
Understanding the causes of after-school meltdowns can help you implement strategies to provide comfort and regulation.
1. Prioritise Connection
After a long day apart, reconnecting with your child is key. Spend a few minutes doing something they enjoy—playing, reading, or simply sitting with them while they decompress. This reassurance can help them feel safe and supported.
2. Offer a Sensory-Friendly Snack
A nutritious snack can stabilise blood sugar and support sensory regulation. Crunchy foods like carrot sticks, apples, or popcorn provide oral proprioceptive input, which can be calming. Cold foods, such as yoghurt or smoothies, can be refreshing and alerting. Experiment with different textures and temperatures to see what helps your child regulate.
3. Create a Transition Routine
A predictable after-school routine can ease the shift from school to home. Consider including:
- A few minutes of quiet time
- A snack
- Free play or outdoor time before structured activities
4. Allow for Movement
After sitting still for most of the day, many children benefit from movement. A trip to the park, a bike ride, or stretching exercises can help regulate their nervous system.
5. Provide a Calm and Safe Space
A designated calm zone at home can be helpful. This might be a cosy corner with pillows, books, or sensory tools like weighted blankets or fidget toys.
6. Encourage Emotional Expression
Help your child name and express their emotions. Some may prefer to talk through play or drawing rather than direct questioning. Let them know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and that you’re there to support them.
7. Reduce Immediate Demands
Jumping straight into homework or chores after school can feel overwhelming. Giving children some downtime first can prevent power struggles and resistance.
8. Consider Sensory Needs
If your child is prone to sensory overload, try strategies like dim lighting, noise-cancelling headphones, or deep-pressure activities (such as bear hugs or weighted blankets) to help them regulate.
9. Limit Screen Time Initially
Screens may seem like an easy way to help children unwind, but too much stimulation can make regulation harder. Encourage hands-on or movement-based activities before introducing screen time.
10. Be Patient and Empathetic
After-school meltdowns are not misbehaviour—they signal that your child feels safe enough to let their guard down. Your calm and understanding presence can make a big difference in helping them regulate.
Final Thoughts
After-school meltdowns are a natural response to a long and demanding day. By understanding the underlying causes and establishing a supportive routine, you can help your child navigate this transition more smoothly.
Every child is different, so it may take some trial and error to find what works best. The most important thing is to create a safe space where they feel understood, supported, and able to process their emotions.
If you feel like your child is struggling with emotional regulation or engagement, talk to an occupational therapist for further guidance. Contact MoveAbout today. Check out our Facebook and Instagram pages for more education regarding sensory processing and regulation.
